state of the union:

GUESS

joey graceffa

(zayn malik)

no sugar or gluten

ARMANI acqua di gioia

GUCCI rush

raw.

pretty, fragranced lotion

bangs!?

NEW WARDROBE

summer travel, vacation

nail polish!

i'm so sad, empty, tired, drained that i can't even muster up the effort to make tears. 

why would a parent teach their child they won't be accepted, the world will hate on you, expect to be put down, expect to lower your head. what the hell?!? what is wrong with her??? i really don't understand. expect to be discriminated. expect hate.

i just went to Safeway to buy filtered water because i was out, and there was this girl at the check out line in front of me. she looked like a korean fob by the way she dressed; orange hair, pale skin, colorful jacket and running shoes (but none of them have ran a day in their lives), black shorts and black tights. pudgy pudgy legs. she was 5'2" and 150lbs at least. all she bought was a box of hostess chocolate cupcakes. like, really? you braved the rain and wind to buy a box of chocolate cupcakes?? pathetic. she was still in front of me when we walked out to the stop light, and i was just judging her in my head the whole time.

afterwards i realize that it's really bad, i mean this is the reason some girls are so shameful about eating (they think they're too fat and other ppl will be disgusted at the sight of them eating) and maybe she has an eating problem like bulimia. but idk, it's a cultural thing. i highly doubt it. also b/c of cultural values, i know ideally she'd want to be really thin, i know she's not happy with her weight. idk it's just the fact that she isn't even trying and she went out just to buy a box of fatty sweets that i can picture her gorging on them 10 minutes later in her room that just disgusts me. (but then who says she has to try? she's not you. maybe she bought them for someone else, her housemate? psh. doubt it.) projection at work here.

i know this all sounds so stupid and mean and pathetic, but these were my thoughts.